The Beginning, the Middle, and the End
by NeoTroi79
Summary: AlexOlivia three parter, lovely and angsty with a little bit of humor.
1. Chapter 1

Ok! So, this was a bizarre thing that I just spit out one day. It's a three part AlexOlivia. It jumps POVs every paragraph from Olivia to Alex and back again. You'll get it. It's kinda like elaborate poetry. Enjoy. And don't forget to review!

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The beginnings are always hard. That awkwardness when you can't really tell if the person is interested, so you back away. You hide in the open, hoping desperately that she will have more courage than you. If you only stay here long enough, staring at her while she is not looking, then somehow you will telepathically tell her that you want her, that you will be good to her, that together, you will be the happiest women in the world. 

You never can tell anymore. People should have to wear signs… 'single', 'taken', you know…all that. It would be so much easier if you just knew. You can see her staring. But perhaps it is just because you're new. Maybe it's just because she's trying to figure you out…maybe your skirt is off-center. The world just seems too big. It's a statistical impossibility that she could be the one for you. And if she isn't…which she probably isn't…that would create a disaster beyond repair. The old adage of never dating a co-worker rings in your head. The beginnings are hard.

The beginnings are thrilling. When you pick up the note that she left on your desk…it tells you to meet her at 8. Maybe all that staring did its trick. You get a lump in your throat at the prospect of something…something wonderful and magical and oh my god you have nothing to wear!

Slip into the patented little black. Pearl earrings and a dash of perfume, there, perfect. You sigh in the mirror and pray that this all goes well. Your heart flutters in your chest and you just get the feeling that something is finally going to go right in your life. The beginnings are always thrilling.

The beginnings are nauseating. That cramp in your stomach threatens to take over as you finally let your breath out of your tired lungs. When you realize she sees in you what you see in her and a rush of adrenaline assaults your system and you almost fall off your chair, but her delicate hand laid gently on yours keeps you steady…at least until the end of dinner.

You resist the urge to run as your butt plants you in the seat. The things that need to be said are said and there is a flood of relief that washes over you, leaving you seasick in its wake…or perhaps that was the crabcakes. The beginnings are nauseating.


	2. Chapter 2

The middles are always comfortable. The awkwardness is gone and you know just enough to come home to and not enough to be bored. It's a time for month by month anniversaries and romantic dinners in your dining room. Right here, there is comfort in the long arms of someone who finally cares.

Pour a glass of wine. Curl up on the couch. Case files strewn on the coffee table. You ignore them for the moment because there is a 5'7 brunette beauty waiting for a kiss. In silence the world settles around you and you are too tired and happy to care about matters of politics or philosophy or anything else. All that matters is that there are two strong arms that promise to hold you until you fall asleep. The middles are always comfortable.

The middles are turbulent. You can't believe she did that to you. It doesn't make sense to use you like that. Why would she lie? It wasn't necessary and it wasn't fair. If you knew the truth then you might have done something to change it. She runs out. You hurt her with your words. You didn't even try to understand. Why did you ever think you deserved her in the first place?

You storm through the house, determined to run, determined to leave. She can't expect you to mix work and personal life. It can't be done, not like this, not the way things are now. She beat you home. How did she do that? She is begging you to stay. Your heart melts at the sight of her and you stand defeated because you know that you would never leave. The middles are always turbulent.

The middles are life-changing. You stare into the glass case, your eyes sparkling like the overpriced jewels inside. You make sure it's a red bow. It's her favorite color. You call the restaurant, everything has to be perfect. You can't believe it really happened…all this happiness. You feel like you cheated the system and at some point the Fate-appointed IRS will come and take it all away. You take a deep breath as you feel like someone has pumped you full of helium. You're sure you're floating and you swear up and down that if she says yes, you will never ask for anything ever again.

You had a sneaky suspicion something was up. You couldn't believe she bought out the restaurant. The band was Italian and played gorgeous music all night. You thought this was all for the one year anniversary. Being a lawyer, you should have figured it out. Of course it all came together when she got down on one knee. You couldn't speak and it seemed like something from a childhood dream. Her eyes glistened and you suddenly had the revelation that you were holding both your futures in your hands. What else could you say? The middles are life-changing.

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Reviews remind me to update! 


	3. Chapter 3

OMG I'M SO SORRY! I forgot to post the last chapter! .cowers. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!

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The ends are violent. They wouldn't let you see her. You are not considered family. She was left lying in a cold room all by herself. You have a vision of her lying on the asphalt. You pressed into her shoulder as dark blood pours out the wound. You refuse to believe that it happened. You feel something bubble up from the center of your being. You've punched a wall. The personnel are removing you. You scream in protest and pleas as the doe-eyed nurses watch silently from the doorways.

It happened so fast it seems that time has given you whiplash. You remember the shot. You remember hitting the ground. You remember feeling her beside you, adrenaline radiating from her. You promised her you would hang on. The life was ripped from you and you could feel the pounding of her heart…or maybe it was yours? It felt like they were being so rough with your body. You just wanted them to stop. The movement around you was frantic and panicked and if you had enough blood left you just might puke. The ends are violent.

The ends are devastating. She is gone. And you can't handle it. You swear it's the end of you and there is nothing anyone can do about it. She is on the front page. Her beautiful face shall never smile again and therefore there is nothing left to be happy about. You lay your badge down on the desk. A symbol of who you've been for the last fifteen years. You are done. And this is a hole that you don't even want to dig yourself out of.

You're eyes went wide when they told you. You couldn't believe they would pull such an act. To tear you away from her is unforgivable. You glare with pure hatred at the men who are keeping you hostage in an FBI safe house. Your mind races as you try to pick out a coherent thought. What she must be thinking…you know what you'd be thinking if she were dead. Where will they hide you? Will you ever be free again? Will she wait for you? You hang your head as your life is destroyed around you. The ends are devastating.

The endings are hopeful. No FBI agent favors midnight meetings in obscure places, so something must be up. But even so, you never expected this. Her arm in a sling is the last thing on your mind because you can't even construct a coherent sentence as all the emotions of the past day attack you once again in a torrent of tears. And you want so much to hug her and hold her one last time but you're afraid that you might be dreaming and she might disappear if you come too close.

You fought like the lawyer you are and pulled every string to pull off this meeting. You didn't realize that seeing her, and knowing it could possibly be the last time, just may be the hardest thing that you've ever done in your life. Seeing the pain in her eyes and the desperate sob as she asks you how long almost makes you want to shoot yourself. They push you in the car again you speed away. You can't even look back and for once in your life, you are not sure if you did the right thing or not. The driver glances in the rearview mirror. Someday, he says. If you don't hold on to anything else…hold on to someday. The endings are full of hope.


End file.
